Why am I not sad?

The other day, I was reading a blog post from a friend of mine. She's going through some stuff and mentioned how she was curled up on her floor crying a few nights ago. As I was thinking about it, it caused me to have a bit of introspection about why that's not me. 

Right now, my life is in a bit of shambles. I've been wanting to leave my current job for over year and actively job searching for several months. I've had some great interviews (at least in my opinion) but no job offers. Last weekend, I decided to take a leave of absence from work for a couple of weeks to deal with a health flare up. I haven't had a real date in probably 8 months and no real prospects of anything like that happening in the near future. 

Even with all that, I'm not depressed. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad or depressed. 

I think part of what's going on is that I truly have felt the past couple of months like something is in the works. There are two things that frequently run through my head – patience and the serenity prayer. Patience has never been a strong trait, but I really feel like that's what I'm supposed to be learning right now. 

In about a week, I'm heading to Salt Lake City. All of the Checketts family will be in the same place at one time, and I will be there as well. I'm so looking forward to this trip, I can't put it into words. Part of my mission on this trip, along with enjoying the Checketts family and my time with them, is to make a decision one way or the other on whether to move to Utah or stay in the Bay Area. It's something that's been looming over my head and in my brain for about a year now. 

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