King penguins with reflections by Charles Glatzer
I’ve always struggled with “fitting in”.
Here are some reasons:
- I tend to get along better with men than with women (and with boys when I was younger). When the men are single, this is great — not so much when they are in relationships or married.
- I’m much too liberal on some issues for many of my conservative friends, but there are other issues where I am far too conservative for my liberal friends.
- I don’t enjoy a lot of social activities, where I might meet new people or build relationships with people I already know. I protect my personal space as if it were an actual shield around me. I don’t enjoy being in crowds of people I don’t know. I don’t enjoy being around people that are consuming alcohol — especially to excess. I used to be one of the last to arrive and one of the first to leave. Now, I find myself being one of the first to arrive and still the first to leave.
- My energy and health issues tend to ebb and flow, which makes it difficult to have a consistent social life. It’s hard to plan things knowing that you might have to cancel them later.
- I actually enjoy being alone. I don’t feel this need to be with people that I hear others talk about.
I struggle with knowing if this is something I should worry about and try to “fix” or if its something that just is.
This is one of those posts in the #julyproject that has no conclusion, but just a bit of open questions.