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My first week in my 40s

I have officially been 40 for a week. It hasn’t been a great week.

After two weeks straight of gym-induced muscle pain, my body & it’s crazy auto-immune, Fibromyalgia craziness finally complained and knocked me on my butt.

I felt pretty good on Sunday and went and picked up veggies from my CSA and did a little grocery shopping. Later that evening, I started to develop a bit of a headache but really didn’t think much of it.

On Monday, I was miserable. I was having problems with my neck, I was feverish and flushed, I had a really bad headache and overall I just felt icky. I cancelled my appointment at the gym and also didn’t go to a post-PodCamp Nashville debrief meeting I was supposed to attend. I wound up taking a bit evening nap.

Tuesday was much of the same. Headache, neck pain, general all-over achiness, and just feeling icky.

Wednesday was similar. I finished work around 6 pm on Wednesday evening and almost immediately went to sleep. I woke up a couple of times throughout the night, but pretty much slept from 6 pm Wednesday until 8 am Thursday.

The good news is that long slumber and basically taking it *very* easy all week did the trick. On Thursday evening, I started to feel better. On Friday I felt pretty good, too. I went to go my chiropractor and got my neck adjusted.

I was a bit cranky on Saturday, so I spent the day taking care of some things around my apartment that I had been putting off for a bit (like taking down my Christmas lights).

My plans for Sunday revolved around going down to Franklin to see my nephew play a soccer game. I also did some laundry on Sunday and got a mailing for work ready to go.

Here’s hoping my second week in my 40s is better than my first.

The Drive-Thru Dilemma

Back in July, 2010 when I moved to the Redwood Shores area of Redwood City and started at Care2, I set a goal to give up drive-thrus for a month. While working at my previous job, I was in the very bad habit of eating via the drive-thru for almost all my meals. On a regular week-day, I was at a drive-thru window at least twice and sometimes more.

My drive-thru habit was a combination of factors — there were several fast food restaurants close to my office, which made them very convenient; my kitchen in my studio apartment was very hard to cook in; and I was being lazy.

My one exception to my drive-thru rule was Sonic. It was easy to have Sonic as my “cheat” because the closest Sonic was more than 10 miles away. The only time I was going to be near a drive-thru would be on a road trip of one sort or another.

My drive-thru fast worked out great. One month turned into two and then it was a year and then 18 months. I went on several road trips and even stopping at Sonic wasn’t tempting. I even drove cross-country from California to Tennessee and looked forward to getting out of my car and stopping to eat.

Moving to Tennesse screwed up my plans to have Sonic as a cheat. There are four Sonic locations within five miles of my apartment. Even though I have become a regular customer, I still had successfully avoided other drive-thru restaurants until a couple of months ago. My food craving brain decided I needed Taco Bell one night. Since I broke my ankle, I have also used the convenience of other drive-thrus to eat. I will add that almost everything has a drive-thru in Tennessee — Starbucks, Panera, some Sonic locations, other chain restaurants.

I’m now trying to decide whether once my ankle gets healthy if it’s worthy going on another drive-thru fast.

Is lifetime offender registration fair?

I haven’t written much lately about the abuse in my past. I consider it a personal success that my life isn’t defined by what I went through as a child.

However, there are times when national events and debates in the media bring feelings to the surface, and today is one of those times.

One of the topics coming out of the Steubenville rape trial is whether or not the young men convicted of the crime deserve the penalty of lifetime registration as a sex offender. I think that they do.

For this young woman, the trauma of what happened to her on that horrific night will never go away. In one way or another, it will be something that stays with her for the rest of her life. Hopefully, she will receive the counseling and support that she needs to move on and have a productive, happy life. The men that are convicted of the crime should have to deal with the consequences of their actions for just as long.

I was abused by a family member — my step-father. That abuse stretched over 3 years and if defined by individual acts would reach into the 100s — if not over 1000. For all of that abuse, my step-father received a ridiculously light prison sentence thanks to a good lawyer and a clever plea bargain. At times, in my early 20s, when I was in the depths of a depression caused by PTSD the only solace I had was that my step-father’s name is on a list and will be on that list for the rest of his life. The young victim in this case deserves the same.

Living in Fear — And What Happens When the Fear Comes True

My friend Molly inspired this post.

I’ve been meaning to write it for the past 36 hours, but her post has given me the courage to go ahead and post it.

Around noon on Tuesday, I was walking out to my car to get something and I slipped. As I slipped and felt my ankle go in a direction its not supposed to my first thought was “not again”. As I sat there in the mud and the rain, I started to move both of my legs and evaluate the damage. Was my left knee okay? Yes. Was my left ankle okay? Yes.

My right leg was another story. As I moved my leg from being underneath me to straight, my first thought was that there was something wrong with me knee. A few bends, and I realized my knee was okay. My ankle was a whole different story. The shocky pain was increasing, and I could already tell that the ankle didn’t look right.

I then had to think about my left wrist, which yet again had taken the bulk of the leverage during the fall. The wrist felt okay, but the palm of my hand was a bit messed up from the rocks in the sidewalk.

While all this thinking was going on, I was also starting to realize that I wasn’t sure how I was going to get from where I was at (in the mud and the rain) and get back in to my apartment. Of course, because I was going to my apartment just for a minute I hadn’t brought my phone with me. Thankfully, someone from the manager’s office had seen me sitting in the mud and realized that something might be wrong. They sent over one of the maintenance team, who I was able to tell where one of my walkers was and he helped me make it in to my apartment.

I go to the orthopedic tomorrow to get the final declaration if its a sprain or break and decide what the next steps are as far as healing.

I live every day in a constant state of fear that this type of accident might happen. Most days are okay and I’m able to push through and do things, but any time I step down a step I worry.

Unfortunately, I took that wrong step and the fear came true.